296. #day19 / what i like to do is download porno and then watch it and not wank and think about how great it will be to send you a new hashtag day
295. When will it be okay for two straight guys to get married
294. When Eddie Guerrero died I didn't go to school. I went to my mother and said to her, "Mother, tell me it's not true."
293. i find that when i karaoke no one really wants to talk to me i just stand by myself
292. 11 days without a wank. Potentially the longest period between wanks since my discovery of it in my late tweens.
291. Mart, Fran says you can get goats milk caramel sauce/spread in Milan I'm so down for a vat of goats milk caramel
290. I was farting such ferocious egg farts all night last night. The room filled with gas and I started having sewer nightmares until I got up to open the window. So vile. Wake up from nightmare to living nightmare.
289. Trying to make a beat from farts in adobe premier is maddening