318. I've added a new scent to Kirstenbosch fragrance garden. Fart.

317. I have seen 4 white women in 4 days.

316. -Thinking of telling people im going to kill myself to get likes. Something like "Hey guys. Will kill myself this arvie unless I get 30 likes. Thanks" -Wow. It would be so great if you were forced to follow through and then no one comes to funeral either. And I could post a status dedicated to you and how much I'll miss you and I'll get 50% for sure. Please let's do this

315. Now I'm farting and thinking to myself 'smell your fucking arse, you don't deserve a girl like that with such a stinky arse'

314. Won a motherfuckin Rialto hamper at the opera tonight

313. There are few moments in life that are as cold and revealing as trying to take a picture of an under aged girl's lips only for the opposite camera to be active and you see your own pervert face.

312. Is it OG to ride around in your car to visit clients while your car stinks of human shit?

311. i think I'm about to have THE BIGGEST FUCKING DUMP Farts confirm it

310. This diamond dick is cloudy

309. Quiet! I'm trying to recover from my period!