294. When Eddie Guerrero died I didn't go to school. I went to my mother and said to her, "Mother, tell me it's not true."

293. i find that when i karaoke no one really wants to talk to me i just stand by myself

292. 11 days without a wank. Potentially the longest period between wanks since my discovery of it in my late tweens.

291. Mart, Fran says you can get goats milk caramel sauce/spread in Milan I'm so down for a vat of goats milk caramel

290. I was farting such ferocious egg farts all night last night. The room filled with gas and I started having sewer nightmares until I got up to open the window. So vile. Wake up from nightmare to living nightmare.

289. Trying to make a beat from farts in adobe premier is maddening

288. Cagacazzi

287. -U wanna see the lego movie at some stage? -yeah definitely -Bet therell be tons of posers

286. Deckard Caine, In Tristam, With a hammer.

285. Sitting at home by myself watching willenium music video