264. I realised I was getting old when I was filled with nostalgia by the smell of one of my own farts.

263. -Kevin, have you been looking at porn on my computer? -No! I needed a woman to draw for Kev to show him I can draw! -Really?! A woman with double-D tits and three cocks in her face?!

262. Most of canal walk smells of my farts. Now I like to find attractive women. Get in front of them. Fart.

261. -You know why? You can't outgrief a griefer. I've been in this game since 2004. I've been on the internet since 1984. -Wow. -My first computer was a Timex Sinclair. I know every trick in the fucking book. -Wow. -I was insulting peons like you on CB Radio in the 1970s. You think you can insult me? My car cost me more than the house you in than the mother your mother's house the the base the basement. -I am truly impressed.

260. -Hey Mark! I have a jungle smurf here for you! -Is he swinging from a vine? -No. -Is he sitting in a car? -No. -Then you don't really have a jungle smurf.

259. Joh. If you run comrades as a man and post medal you get 65 likes. Also you have to dedicate to deceased father. Surely this is the most any man can get.

258. "Iron Man 3- EPIC! Love that they introduced Pepper as Rescue...and CANT WAIT for Thor and Star Trek!!!!!! I am a NERD and I aint afraid to SHOW it...I'm sexy and I KNOW it! Bha ha ha ha! #jacquesthinksiamweird" - If you take her on a date you get tagged in her statuses plus hashtagged

257. -What about "The Three Little Pigs"? -That's what I said! I told her, "Ma, make your house with bricks!"

256. Adam on "Taken 2": I will find you again, and kill you again, this time, for real.

255. Please don't bother Jonathan. He has boerewors to sell and a shahlumpie to smoke.