455. "It sounded like I was saying my name all fucked up." - Melissa saying Marisa

454. miss you having a phone

453. Bots can't like captions or get people to help them win bongs

452. Every Jew knows a building he could have bought 30 years ago for 9 dollars.

451. Some of my greatest treasures are letters and drawings from children who come to story time My favourite one is on my wall and says “you are so kinb”

450. His work was very coming-of-age-gay-throwing-a-tantrum.

449. One thing I love about going to Russia is that I always come back with storage capacity.

448. Masturbated thinking about a hug I got last night.

447. I think I said jesus was a white guy w dreads

446. Martin how do you tell long format stories without being boring?

445. Chicken is for bulk and texture, salami is for flavour and gorgonzola is for pride.

444. DEVIN PLAYS GOOD CUM / MAYBE GET HIM ON THE CUM , Phil KRAME ON THE TUM AND ME ON THE BUM / I HEAR HE PLAYS A MEAN CUM

443. Yes so you make one dong you put in bank and return for later use

442. C HOMUR THIMP SON👶🏼 ,?

441. ,, HELO MR THOM ..££

440. ‘ LOUISE + SWEET CAN .. 🐸🐸 ‘,

439. I’m a bit bad at messaging. But I did a lot of steps.

438. DRUGS FOR SALE + MSG ME FOR PAYPAL + FART SCHOOL + FART SCHOOL

437. My mom just made me cry. Can't wait for yoga and therapy!

436. When I saw Homer, I said, "I want to be a nuclear physicist."