338. Baby in pram behind me in Checkers, farting in babies face...

337. The only wicket I got playing school level was when a batsman hit me for a 4th consecutive boundry then fell on his wickets

336. Dopamine / Prolactin / Oxytocin

335. I wasn't aware you had such a large gay following.

334. -Everybody knows me. -That's nice.

333. You are my brother I'm really gonna miss you You are my brother You gonna take me with you

332. Let's celebrate with the adding of pee to bum.

331. Can I get your name so I can add you on my Facebook

330. I found myself trying to justify rape for the sake of appreciating the movie. Don't want to go back there

329. -What are you doing today? -We can have breakfast and watch cartoons.

328. (She's) Going to joburg to get away from postbox gifts Gonna cram that box so full for when she's back Post man will be fucking pissed.

327. We can go out, you can come do a goef or you can go home. Those are your three options.

326. Martin, when we're 30, you'll be 42.

325. Inside my mind couldn't find a place to rest until I got that Thug Life tatted on my chest.

324. with each like I grow stronger

323. -I thought you banned him from bringing that (a homemade Sprite bong) into the house? -I did, and when I try get rid of them, two heads grow back.

322. Good people don't behave like this Martin.

321. Why have we evolved to be our most attractive at our most irrational and insecure?

320. Why did we just pay twenty Rand to get in with these five other men?

319. That man is vomiting outside his car. There is now a pile of vomit outside that car. Someone has to clean up that vomit.

318. I've added a new scent to Kirstenbosch fragrance garden. Fart.

317. I have seen 4 white women in 4 days.

316. -Thinking of telling people im going to kill myself to get likes. Something like "Hey guys. Will kill myself this arvie unless I get 30 likes. Thanks" -Wow. It would be so great if you were forced to follow through and then no one comes to funeral either. And I could post a status dedicated to you and how much I'll miss you and I'll get 50% for sure. Please let's do this

315. Now I'm farting and thinking to myself 'smell your fucking arse, you don't deserve a girl like that with such a stinky arse'

314. Won a motherfuckin Rialto hamper at the opera tonight

313. There are few moments in life that are as cold and revealing as trying to take a picture of an under aged girl's lips only for the opposite camera to be active and you see your own pervert face.

312. Is it OG to ride around in your car to visit clients while your car stinks of human shit?

311. i think I'm about to have THE BIGGEST FUCKING DUMP Farts confirm it

310. This diamond dick is cloudy

309. Quiet! I'm trying to recover from my period!

308. it's hard counting all your profile pics with 0 likes without losing count

307. What up, do you want to DJ at a party with me in August. 30-45 min sets. No one will be there. We will get paid R10 which we can split... You in?

306. -I am going to hospital to visit my fat friend. -The fat one? -She's huge!

305. A woman's well of pain is shallower than ours - it must overflow into the world. The women you really want are the ones that take the overflow pipe and shove it in their cunt.

304. "The fundamental question is, Will I be as effective a boss like my dad was. And I will be. Even more so. But until I am, it's going to be hard to verify that I think I'm going to be more effective."

303. -The purest Jew is the Joburg Jew. -Mmm, I agree.

302. Yes, these are all powerfags; this is a powerfag party, but honestly I am the most powerful one.

301. Fluent and articulate responses, the dragons have certainly warmed to Andy.

300. #day1

299. You can't sleep off diarrhoea

298. The Hound: Of course you named your sword. Arya: Lots of people name their swords. The Hound: Lots of cunts.

297. Listen to Chicago - Streetplayer. That shit is musicianship to the maximum. It's like Eye of the Tiger but better.

296. #day19 / what i like to do is download porno and then watch it and not wank and think about how great it will be to send you a new hashtag day

295. When will it be okay for two straight guys to get married

294. When Eddie Guerrero died I didn't go to school. I went to my mother and said to her, "Mother, tell me it's not true."

293. i find that when i karaoke no one really wants to talk to me i just stand by myself

292. 11 days without a wank. Potentially the longest period between wanks since my discovery of it in my late tweens.

291. Mart, Fran says you can get goats milk caramel sauce/spread in Milan I'm so down for a vat of goats milk caramel

290. I was farting such ferocious egg farts all night last night. The room filled with gas and I started having sewer nightmares until I got up to open the window. So vile. Wake up from nightmare to living nightmare.

289. Trying to make a beat from farts in adobe premier is maddening

288. Cagacazzi

287. -U wanna see the lego movie at some stage? -yeah definitely -Bet therell be tons of posers

286. Deckard Caine, In Tristam, With a hammer.

285. Sitting at home by myself watching willenium music video

284. This is why I have a problem with homeless people; they raid my bins and leave rubbish everywhere then they fucking shit and dogs eat it.

283. BOOGIEMAN. ? POKEY EITG THE MAN AND DOG AND THE EIGHT, , AND HE LISTENS WITH THE FACE AND THW FAWUGHUGHAGGRGH

282. Harry was used to spiders, because the cupboard under the stairs was full of them, and that was where he slept.