11. Oh my God. If you do that, I'll lose a million food.

10. Hi.. I just lost 3 water and 20 food but I took 2 shrooms.

9. How about we look at perfect you? An album of drawings you've done from photo's of people you've stalked on a blog and falsely befriended.

8. Dear makandal and martin, due to my irrational fear of accountability, entrenched in it foucoult's 'surveilance', i lied.

7. You can't stick your hand down your own toilet but you have no problem dressing up as Hitler.

6. You won't let me do what Lady Gaga did to get famous.

5. Ah, I need some money. Let me go to Saul's. Saul will help me out.

4. NEW STOCK IN FARELLI FASHIONS OFFER EXPIRES 21:30 R1200 CASH DEALS ONLY.

3. Egg Vindaloo.

2. Only Paul Ward is actually Paul Ward.

1. I will never be a piece of property again, no matter how valuable that property is considered. Joe made a feminist of me. A feminist slut.